What is Pegging? Starting from the bottom
You might have heard the term Pegging, but wondering What is Pegging actually? Pegging is the act of a woman penetrating a man with a strap-on – which is also called inversion or BOB’ing. Now, even though a lot of couples of all genders and sexual orientations have strap-on sex, Pegging refers specifically to the toy being used by heterosexual couples!
The term “Pegging” is actually quite recent – it was created by sex writer Dan Savage in the 80s, as well as the term BOB, which stands for bend-over-boyfriend. However, the act itself is ancient. Marquis de Sade wrote about it back in 1775, and it has never left our popular imaginary. Recently, it’s made into mainstream pop-culture, being featured even in blockbuster Deadpool – but still is a taboo.
Why do men like pegging?
Men have been taking it up the ass for the longest time now, and the reason for that is very simple. It feels good. The prostate, also known as the male G-spot, can be found in the rectum – and therefore, is directly stimulated during Pegging. And many men are big fans of the practice. However, admitting it out loud is still not that common.
All of that because of the misogynistic & homophobic notion that being anally penetrated can somehow “emasculate” a man, or turn him gay. Not only that implies that there is something wrong with being gay or a woman, but it’s also a completely wrong idea! Only one thing defines sexual orientation: Who you feel attracted to. The fact that a bundle of nerves feels good when stimulated only means your neurotransmissions are working as they should.
Moreover, Pegging will make you better at sex – whether you are a man or a woman. See, for heterosexual couples, the sensations the other person feels can be a mystery. By swapping roles, you get to experience being on the other side, which will have you understanding a lot more the needs of your partner. For instance, many women report having a newfound appreciation for the sheer effort penetrating somebody demands – holding up your weight, keeping a rhythm, all while being bombarded with different sensations is a lot of work!
On that same note, Pegging can deepen the connection between two people and improve intimacy and communication. There are studies which show reversing the gender roles in bed could lead to a more satisfactory sexual life overall. Not to mention, well, it’s fun!
Why do women like pegging?
While for men it is empowering to abandon preconceptions and discover the wonderful things their body can do, for women it can also be liberating, as it allows them to connect with their dominant side. While being a practice loved by the fans of Femdom, Pegging doesn’t necessarily have to be done in a Dominant/submissive setting. Vanilla sex also has space for Pegging, and if you’re wondering how to get started, fear not! We have some hot tips for you!
How to get started with Pegging? A strap-on sex guide for beginners
While it might be tempting to start with a strap-on right away, the secret to Pegging is really building up to it. There shouldn’t be a need to rush as the process is also part of it, a way for both parts to relax, enjoy, and get to know their bodies!
To make sure Pegging is enjoyable rather than painful, the penetration with the strap-on really should be the last step of a joyful rides discovering anal pleasures! And there are some toys and accessories that can help you from start to finish.
The best pegging strap-on for each phase of your Pegging journey
Erotic gloves and mini vibrators are the best toys to start stimulating the prostate. The first are texturized latex gloves special for sex, which make the act of fingering someone much cleaner and safer (especially if the girl has long nails!) and some of them even have little dildos on the fingers. Mini-vibrators, on the other hand, provide powerful direct stimulation to the prostate with minimal invasion, and allows men to get to know their g-spot much better.
Once you feel like you’re comfortable to move-on to the next step, anal plugs are going to be your best buddies! There are even whole kits available that offer different sizes, allowing for the stimulation to increase as well as preparing for the strap-on in the future! Middle-sized vibrators can also add a little oomph to the play, and be especially fun when combined with oral sex!
Finally, when you are ready for the big day, make sure to choose your strap-on well. Stability is a lot more important than the size of the dildo, trust us! For women, having the security that your strap-on is firm in place is going to make a big difference during Pegging. So, always try for the ones that fit the best on your hips. Also, many strap-ons are detachable, which means you can switch up to bigger dildos or even vibrating models with time.
Best positions for Pegging and other important things to know
As much as doing it doggy style is the classic image of Pegging, this position allows for penetration to go the deepest, and therefore maybe it’s best to save it for when you are a bit more experienced. For the first time in Pegging, some good positions are the good ol’ missionary, and also trying it with the man lying on his stomach. A pillow under his hips can make things so much easier!
Lube is your best friend! This is a general tip for all kinds of sex, no matter your preference, kink, or gender, but especially true when being pegged. No reason to hold back on the lube – the more the better. It is going to make the act 100% safer and more pleasurable for everyone involved. Silicon-based lubricants are the best ones because they are least likely to cause irritation or dryness, but they shouldn’t be applied directly to silicon toys as it increases the risk of growing bacteria. But this actually brings us to my next point.
Use a condom! Now, it might seem weird to think of using a condom when we don’t have actual body parts engaging in penetration, but not only they prevent direct contact from the lube and toys, but they also make the act of Pegging much safer and easier. Less chances of contamination, easier to clean, and it makes penetration smoother, which never hurts (literally).
Where is the prostate located? To find the prostate either with a finger or a toy, the best move is to make a beckoning motion. The prostate is located right behind the testicle stem, and one can feel the texture as it’s a little spongy, different from its surroundings!
I’m scared of the mess! What to do? This is a common concern for Pegging rookies, and well, as with any anal sex there’s always the risk. However, the good news is this is less common than one might think. To lower the risk even more, you should avoid being under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs, especially in your first time being pegged. Anal douches and enemas are also common practice. While they are absolutely not a must for pegging, they are great tools to help you and your partner feel more relaxed if you’re especially concerned about making it a clean affair. Just FYI, douching is not 100% free of risks, so you should always do your research before digging into it, as well as watch how frequently you resort to it!
One means slow, two means go! A good piece of information to have in mind is that us humans have two sphincters in our rectum. One is the anus, and the other is located a few centimetres upwards. So when penetrating your partner either with fingers or toys, you’ll have to carefully work the resistance twice. If you are too eager after getting passed the first sphincter, it can cause the rectum to contract and make things painful.
How can I make sure I am not hurting my partner if I can’t feel it? Well, you have to establish an open communication channel so you can make sure Pegging is pleasurable for both. Encourage your partner to be vocal, and always ask before increasing speed or intensity. But if you build up to it, start from a small toy to the bigger ones and use lots of lube, you are already on the road to success!
Finally, go shopping together. When buying sex toys, making it a joint decision can make a big difference, and make the whole experience a lot more fun! When choosing the toys from beginning to end together, you feel like the act of Pegging is something that belongs to the couple, as well as making sure both parties are engaging in it.
I’m already a Pegging convert! Anything else I should know?
Why, I am glad you asked! There are a lot of toys in the market available for experienced Pegging lovers. Anal beads can be a fun addition to the toy collection, and you can even spice up your strap-on game. There are some which offer a second dildo to be used by the woman while Pegging, double ended dildos, and remote-control vibrators.
And since you are a seasoned Pegging pro, why not try to incorporate Femdom practices into it? After all, Pegging and Femdom can walk hand in hand, and if you are into Dom/sub play, it can be a great way to spice up your role-reversal-sex. There’s a whole article here with more on Femdom practices you can get inspiration from!
In conclusion, get to Pegging!
Summarizing everything we have said before; Pegging is ancient practice that offers extreme pleasures for men, empowers women, and can make both better at sex! The best way to go about it is build up slowly for penetration with a strap-on, and always make sure you are being safe, attentive, and communicating openly with your partner.
If you have tried it and have other tips, please let us know either directly in the comment section on the very bottom of this page! And make sure to share this article with your friends that want to get to Pegging but don’t know where to start!
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