Stigmatized, misunderstood, fabulous!
Women are wonderful! And this with all their (sexual) needs, peculiarities and desires. But unfortunately not everyone saw and still does not see it that way. The history of femininity and especially of female sexuality is full of compulsions, prohibitions and misunderstandings. And it is marked by the struggle for equality and self-determination. The last centuries show why you should shout your femininity proudly into the world right now. Why you should show everyone how great it is to be a woman and why it is worth your while to stand up for an open female sexuality every day.
A story full of limitations
Stone Age - the time of fear
When man as a species was still in its infancy, it only made sense for men to suppress women in their sexuality. They wanted a monogamous woman so that they could be sure that the child they had together was really theirs. Because no man wanted to care for a strange child in times when he had to put his life in danger for food.
Antiquity - sexual freedom
Fortunately, after the emergence of different peoples and cultures, the sexual freedoms of women also changed. People became - depending on the culture - more self-determined and could live out their lives. In Greece, for example, brothels or erotic bathhouses were the order of the day. Homosexuality was also completely commonplace - an attitude that we had to regain centuries later.
The Middle Ages - the Word of God
With the spread of Christianity and other faiths, many of the freedoms were no longer valid. During this time, a church morality that was hostile to sexuality emerged and women were subjected to it. Unfaithful spouses were even executed, while the men were allowed to enjoy themselves without restraint. In arranged marriages, children were usually still married to each other. Many women tried to escape this and entered a convent. Some even mutilated themselves to avoid marital rape. They were only allowed to indulge their lust in secret. One result: erotic novels, such as that of the author Marie de France, which gave women, at least in this world, every freedom.
My love and my body I give to you,
make me your lover!
Quote Marie de France, Bisclavret, around 1170
Early modern times - breathe a sigh of relief
Even if the customs were still strict, women were allowed to live out their sexuality more strongly again after the Middle Ages. Only noblemen and the richer classes were still forced to marry. It was not until the end of the early modern era that philosophers once again took a critical view of female sexuality. For them, it was something animalistic that had to be restrained and did not fit in with the fine ladies of society.
Modern - finally free?
After Freud invented the concept of libido, sexuality was also considered psychologically for the first time. According to the neurologist, the suppression of desire led to neuroses. Sexuality should therefore urgently be lived out. After the first condoms came on the market and the pill offered reliable contraception, women too were able to be somewhat freer. They did not always have to live in fear of getting pregnant from a one-night stand or an affair. And yet even today, in many cultures, women are still not free to make decisions about their sexuality. In Germany alone, rape within marriage only became a criminal offence in 1997.
The female anatomy: the great unknown?
Do you feel that you know and understand your body really well? Then congratulations! Because female sexuality, unlike that of men, has not been researched for a long time. And even today it is still completely new territory for research in contrast to male sexuality.
These tips can help you,
to deal with your sexuality more confidently and to have (even) more fun being a woman:
1. Do not stop having sex after satisfying the man!
This thinking is outdated and has its origins in the history of women having to satisfy men. And let's face it, men also like it when you claim your piece of the pie.
2. Say what you like!
Speaking of claiming: Not only at the climax, but before and after. Say what you like and what you want to try. Far too few women dare to do that, although many men love exactly that.
3. Explore yourself!
To know what you want, you have to figure it out. And the only way to do that is to begin your sexual journey. Fortunately, the average woman is only at her sexual peak after the age of 30. And after that, it's far from over. So it's gonna be exciting.
4. Forget about social standards!
Live your sexuality, even if it is not socially acceptable. You are not a slut if you have changing partners and you are not less "ladylike" when you say what you want. When many women live more freely, the image of women changes and social norms change. So it's up to you!
written by Julia Burghardt