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Can it be a little bit more?

The exciting world of kinky sex

Love, latex, lust - sex is such an important part of your being that it should feel good and right for you. Every aspect of a love life is as diverse as the people who live it. One facet of it is also the "kinky sex". The term is not yet common in German beds, but its components are. For many couples and singles it is the first step out of their familiar to discover their own, more complex sexuality.
What exactly does kinky sex mean and what is the attraction? How do newcomers make their first experiences? Let us fathom the basics of kinky sex in the following.

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Kinky, what?

Translated from the English "kinky" means perverted, dirty or twisted. But in its original language area the term is by no means as negatively connotated as the German translations. Kinky stands for self-determination, shared experience and the courage to try something new.


Where exactly kink begins, or what forms it takes, is a purely personal interpretation. For what exactly is considered deviant or even perverse depends strongly on your personal sexuality, your own values or the imprints of your upbringing or environment. The very interpretation of the term "perverse" can be either negative or positive from person to person.


Your own kinky boundaries will also change again and again in the course of your sex life. What deviates from "normal" sex for you today can be absolute normality in a year or two.

What does kinky mean?

Kinky roughly describes everything outside of the vanilla sex. The individual definition of kink is mainly influenced by his own experiences and can change in the course of life. Kinky does not necessarily have to refer only to the sex life. Also clothing, the contact with the partner or lust making practices in everyday life are part of it.

Kinky ever since - a look at history

Kinky practices are almost as old as sex itself. As soon as people no longer had to concentrate only on hunting and gathering and had time for their own pleasure, the first imaginative sex practices began to emerge.

IN THE ANCIENTS

sex was more varied than ever after. In Pompeii alone there are said to have been over 100 brothels. Innumerable vases, writings and murals bear witness to sex, which leaves all conventions behind, regardless of gender.

IN THE 15TH CENTURY

kinky art also made it to Germany. Hans Baldung, who has often been compared to Dürer, showed scenes of Aristotle having submissive sex with his lover Phyllis, among others. With this he celebrated the strength of the woman.

IN JAPANESE ART

sex plays a big role and even has its own name with Shunga. Part of the traditional art is sex in unusual places and other kinky methods, such as bondage.

THE MORE MODERN THE TIME,

the more frowned upon was the open handling of kinky practices. Especially Marquise de Sade was notorious for his stories and drawings. But toys and aids had other dimensions at that time.

WITH THE ADVENT OF PHOTOGRAPHY

revealing photos were quickly created, that were intended to satisfy people's desires and were sold at fairs or in red-light districts. Here, too, same-sex sex and various toys were popular.

IN THE ANCIENTS

the sex was more varied than ever after. In Pompeii alone there are said to have been over 100 brothels. Innumerable vases, writings and murals bear witness to sex, which leaves all conventions behind, regardless of gender.

IN THE 15TH CENTURY

Kinky art also made it to Germany. Hans Baldung, who has often been compared to Dürer, showed scenes of Aristotle having submissive sex with his lover Phyllis, among others. With this he celebrated the strength of the woman.

IN JAPANESE ART

sex plays a big role and even has its own name with Shunga. Part of the traditional art is sex in unusual places and other kinky methods, such as bondage.

THE MORE MODERN THE TIME,

the more frowned upon was the open handling of kinky practices. Especially Marquise de Sade was notorious for his stories and drawings. But toys and aids had other dimensions at that time.

WITH THE ADVENT OF PHOTOGRAPHY

quickly also produced revealing photographs that were intended to satisfy people's desires and were sold at fairs or in red-light districts. Here, too, same-sex sex and various toys were popular.

Why kinky sex can be an enrichment for you

Kinky sex is not only about exciting new techniques. To try them out, you have to be aware of your own desire. This means that you also have to get to know your body and your desires. So the first step in kinky sex is to get to know yourself and be honest with yourself. Testing new ideas and practices sends you on an even deeper journey to yourself. You will get to know your body and all its sexual facets much better and recognize where your limits lie and where they may not yet be reached. This testing not only makes you safer in bed or in your partnership, it also strengthens your self-confidence in everyday life.

10 kinky things, that you can try out right now:

1. Use sex toys

You have never experimented with dildos, plugs or vibrators? Then they are the perfect introduction to kinky sex. So you can also test out on your own what you like.

2. Leaving the bed

Admittedly, sex in the kitchen or on the washing machine (cliché, but effective) is already arousing. But try it in more public places, like the hand job or fingering under the table in the restaurant. But be careful: Nobody should be bothered by this - except your partner.

3. Role plays and role swaps

To slip for a moment into strange roles is fun! You don't have to be the clichéd nurse or the schoolgirl. Your imagination knows no bounds! You can also simply swap your naturally found roles. You are more submissive? Then it's time for some domination!

4. Dirty Talk and Sexting

Dirty talk needs some courage, but then it can be intoxicating. Try it during sex first (and not before) - it will make you feel more confident and you'll be in the right mood. Sexting, i.e. sending erotic text messages such as SMS, can stimulate even before the actual act.

5. Watching

Looking, but not touching can be incredibly exciting. Self-confident people can satisfy themselves in front of their partner. If you are not yet ready, you can also look at yourself in the mirror during sex - this is additionally arousing.

6. Giving up control

You can give up control during sex by gentle bondage attempts. It is best to use velvet ropes or fabric tapes for the beginning - this is gentle on the skin. Funk vibrators can also sweeten your everyday life outside the bed. Your partner can control them for you anytime and anywhere and you never know when exactly it will be.

7. Feeling pain

Pain excites many people and can be a first step into harder practices. Try candle wax, light blows or pinching at the beginning. Advanced students can also try spanking, i.e. hitting the butt with a whip or paddle

8. Opening borders

If you and your partner agree, a step towards kinky sex can also be the classic 3-way. Fetish parties also increase the tension. Here it also does not necessarily come to sex with other people, simply the possibility is given.

9. Tantalizing

Well chosen clothing can contribute decisively to the mood. Whether it's sexy lace underwear, a playful harness or a tight latex dress - the important thing is that you feel sexy and above all comfortable in it. Then your partner will automatically perceive it that way.

10. Surprise

Kinky sex is always the breaking of old patterns and the tension created by uncertainty. A simple but effective step leads out of the comfort zone. Surprise your partner outside the bed or at places and times when he doesn't expect it

Have fun trying it out!

Kinky sex in a relationship:
How do you get started?

In a relationship it is not always easy to express new sexual desires. The partner can quickly be taken by surprise or be afraid that something is wrong with their previous sex life. So if you want to try something new and try your first kinky steps in a partnership, good communication is the most important thing. The desire for something new is completely normal and perhaps your partner also has needs that he has not been able to tell you before. All the better if you make the first move. But be careful: Start small and don't overtax yourself with practices that interest you, but skip several steps at once. Surprise your partner with a toy that will sweeten your sex. Take a trip into the countryside and use the time together not only to eat dessert. As diverse as the possibilities are, are also the first steps into the world of kinky sex. But it is always important that you agree on what you want.
Here you can read about how to talk to your partner about your desires.

written by Julia Burghardt

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