Pregnancy. Forever a source of fascination and taboo in our society. As the epitome of fertility, it has always been a central theme to culture, religion and day-to-day life; through ages and all over the globe. It symbolizes many things; a future to come, the duality between the sanctity of giving birth and the flagrancy of sex.
For most of the time, pregnancy was curiously segregated from the topic of female sexuality – as if being a mother took away a women’s appeal and desire for sex. However, we now know that this vision is built on the outdated idea that a woman’s sole purpose on Earth is motherhood. As if she didn’t continue to be her own person, with desires and needs, after conceiving.
As most taboo topics often do, this comes with a paradox. Not only many people experience a severe increase in libido during pregnancy, as well as research shows in most cases pregnant sex is healthy and recommended, AND there is a lot – and we do mean a LOT – of both men and women who can’t stop fantasizing about pregnant bodies.
So, let’s break this all down. How does pregnancy sex work, how to have safe sex while pregnant and what does pregnancy fetishism entail.
How does sex drive change during pregnancy?
Pregnancy comes with a violent rush of hormones. And this causes different phenomena in different bodies. Some people might experience more nausea; some others will have sleep fluctuations. This is no different when it comes to libido. Which means, whether your sex drive might go up, down, or stay the same will likely depend on a lot of factors, and it’s different for everyone.
However, it does seem for a lot of pregnant people libido can go through the roof during pregnancy – especially in the second trimester. Why?
Why does pregnancy make you hornier?
This sudden surge in libido can be credited to the hormonal changes. Especially with the flush of progesterone and estrogen during the first trimester, you can start feeling hornier than usual.
In the second semester, the blood flow in your lower abdominal region increases considerably. And this vascular action down there can cause you to be more sensitive and ready to hump something or someone! Plus, the clitoris also increases in size, making it even more prone for stimulation. And if you’re feeling like having sex – you should! We’ll tell you more on that later.
In the third trimester, things might start getting uncomfortable, as organs are squeezed by the baby, sleep gets difficult, and some people experience shortness of breath. So, the idea of getting it on might start having an annoying effect. However, it’s not a problem to have sex in the later months and it can even be beneficial for the momma as it increases happy hormones in the brain. We’ll show you how to do it safely next!
Is it safe to have pregnancy sex?
In general, yes. Make sure to always check with your doctor about your specific case. For some people sex is counter indicated – mostly for higher risks pregnancies. But if that’s not what’s happening with you, chances are sex is a great idea!
Can having sex while pregnant hurt the baby?
A lot of people worry that penetration might literally poke the baby, and that the contractions caused by pleasure and/or orgasm can induce labor. Well, we’re happy to inform you this is not the case. Unless you are in a higher risk pregnancy, you’ll be just fine. And babies can’t be poked with penetration! If your doctor is banning sex is probably because you need lots of rest (and to stay away from other strenuous physical activities too).
Miscarriages are also caused by other factors – most likely due to the fetus’s formation itself. So, you should be good to go if you feel like it!
Until when can you have sex while pregnant?
Basically, all the way – unless your doctor says otherwise. You might want to avoid positions with the penetrating partner on top towards the last trimester, but due to the volume of the belly, you might naturally skip those altogether.
Best tips to have great sex while pregnant
Just like we said before; this is unique from case to case. How you’re feeling is going to depend on a lot of factors, and for some women, the hormonal changes and added stress makes them feel like sex is the last thing they want.
So, this is the first tip; sex in pregnancy – as any sex – should be consensual first and foremost.
But if you’re feeling like going to town, there are some positions which can make you feel even better. Especially as the belly starts to grow bigger! All positions are safe if you’re not in a risky pregnancy, but there are some that can be especially comfortable and fun when there’s a pregnant body in the mix.
Riding - Unless you are at risk of prelabor rupture of membranes, this position allows for the pregnant person to control the rhythm, and depth of the penetration, which is great! It also maximizes contact to the glans of the clitoris, which is the fastest way to an orgasm. Plus, for those who feel pregnant bellies are just plain hot, this position offers the best possible view.
Spooning - Besides being a very intimate position, it’s very comfortable for both parts and it hits all the right spots. In later stages of pregnancy, a pillow to support the belly can make the position even more enjoyable.
Missionary - A classic is a classic, right? Missionary is always a good position, because it allows the pregnant person to relax into the bed. Plus, with a body that is usually more sensitive, it grants many opportunities for all kinds of stimuli.
Oral sex and mutual masturbation - Of course, penetration is not the only option! After all, not only straight and/or cis people get pregnant and want to get it on while knocked up. Plus, if you feel like penetration is a bit much for you, there is a world of possibilities to give and receive pleasure. Why not take advantage of an enlarged clitoris glans for the eat-out session of your life?
Now that we have covered the basics of how people feel and might want to have sex during pregnancy, let’s switch to the other side. The ones who dream about having sex with them.
Are pregnant women attractive?
Again, this is very personal. Some people are not particularly attracted to pregnant people, some are indifferent, some are extremely turned off by them. And for some, this is the epitome of hotness. For them, having sex with a pregnant woman is more than a desire – it’s a fetish.
Pregnancy fetishism - how does it work?
Also called maiesiophilia or maieusophoria, pregnancy fetishism is more common than one might think. After all, a lot of the primal drive that moves us to have sex stems from the need to procreate. Fertility is forever biologically tied to our sexuality, so it’s not strange to think that pregnancy might do things to our imagination.
Like with everything, maiesiophilia is not one-size-fits all. For some people, the attraction lies in the act of impregnating someone. For others, on the idea of birth-giving. And for others, the main event is the pregnant body.
This fetish is shared by people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations. And for them, it becomes a “dirty” secret – because a lot of times, in our society, a pregnant body is seen as a non-sexual one.
Is it okay to have a fetish for pregnant women?
In short; yes. It’s okay to want to have sex with a pregnant person, as well as wanting to have sex while pregnant. The key is consent and focus on mutual pleasure. And the pregnancy fetishism community is huge; if you are part of it, you are sure to find your match.
Bonus round: Erotic lactation and ANR
Directly related to the topic, but not exactly pregnancy sex; we also need to talk about erotic lactation. For the ones scratching their heads, this is the act of fantasizing or engaging in lactation for sexual purposes. Yes, nursing and drinking breast milk for pleasure – something to be done between consensual adults.
Far from being something new, adult lactation has been around for as long as breast milk. And while it’s not that hard to understand where it comes from – after all, nipples and breasts are erogenous zones – this act is still taboo for a number of reasons. While sucking on nipples is fairly common during sex, when lactation is involved, it can be regarded as wrong – because it’s sexualizing a motherly interaction. But for some folks, that is precisely what makes it sexy.
Adult nursing is mostly common while a woman is already lactating – but in some cases, the sucking and stimulation of the nipples can cause secretion to be produced.
But erotic lactation goes beyond drinking breast milk; it can also apply to all kinds of activities where it’s used for sexual purposes. For some women, the act of let-down, or the release of breast milk, can be incredibly pleasurable.
Beyond erotic lactation, some people even engage in ANRs, or adult nursing relationships, in which adults participate in breastfeeding on a regular basis. For some couples, this activity might not even have a sexual connotation, but is seen as an act of intimacy and affection.
While we are 100% for erotic lactation if it’s exciting for everyone involved, it’s important to notice that due to hormonal changes, a lot of women experience a drastic reduction in libido during their lactating periods – and it’s unfortunately common for them to be pressured by their partners to engage in erotic lactation and/or post-pregnancy sex even if they do not feel like it. To this, we say that the same rule is valid for all kinds of sex and fetishes; enthusiastic and informed consent is the base for it all.
Pregnant women have a lot of the times had their sexuality disregarded. But what we are discovering is that sex in pregnancy opens a lot of possibilities and can be not only fun, but also healthy. What are your experiences with it? We would love to hear all about it either on our Instagram or via email!